Go Figure...=(

i think that sometimes people in my life dont understand me, the way i act, my reason or intentions, and it hurts. it hurts because i love all the people in my life with all my heart. i keep these people around because i feel like i might have a chance at being sane if they are there. but they dont understand that. they dont understand how it feels. with people leaving me on a daily bases, the way people think about me, the way i am truly taken for a fools makes me insane.

i dont know what they expect from me. to praise you and tell you how thankful i am for having you in my life my every waking moment, even though you do far from the same. beg for you to stay and beg for your forgiveness whenever i make one little mistake or when you take my playfulness the wrong way. people must not think i have feelings. that even though i portray myself as this tough girl that i too have my moments of weakness. i have moments where i get lost and just need somebody to push through it with me instead of getting upset with me.

but it has never gotten to this point until now, obviously. it has never been to the point where you threaten to, within minutes, walk out of my life if i dont get myself together. how is that fair? so i am not aloud to be stressed out and sometimes lose my head for risk of losing you? i completely understand that i do take my feelings and stress out on some people but if you know im already stressed dont take the things i may say to heart. just let it go. and the things that OTHER people might do or say to you DO NOT make it ALL seem like MY fault.

im so lost at this point that i dont know what to do or say to anybody. i guess i'll just handle my problems by myself because the other way it obviously not the way it is suppose to be. the people who say they would be here forever are the people who seem to walk away, go figure.