now that the easy part is over its time for me to start healing. although there was no closure between me and him, his silence is all i need to know that what we have is over, but like i said its time for me to move on.

i have been through this so many times that now it has become somewhat routine. i heal very fast though, as long as i don't have someone negative there but since that is gone, i think i am going to be fine. i know i am going to be fine. i love and respect myself too much to let someone or thing keep me down for too long.

when i was a little girl i was hurt almost everyday and it was much worst than what i am going through now. i have grown into a strong little girl into a very strong, thoughtful, caring, loving and most of all forgiving young woman and i plan to move ahead in my quest to become the best journalist and writer anyone has ever heard of.

i know myself but i think i let people and my feelings get in the way. love makes me a fool so i think that's why i stray from it so much. i never asked for love but guys offer it to me and i took a chance with one guy and this is what i receive so until I'm much older I'm not trying that again [ live and love in the moment is so far out the window ]. nothing and no one else will get in the way of me losing myself again. i do things that i wouldn't normally do and i think i need to go back to 'me' and then everything will fall into place.

" God as my witness i will NEVER in my days make the same mistake again. i will live and learn. i know the right way and now i am on the road to internal and eternal peace with my heart and soul as the map and my hands and mind are the wheels im riding in on. i will make it. i will not stop. "