Its Not My Situation - Its My Life ; ♥

it always sucks to have someone walk out of your life, but i think it sucks more to have to actually kick someone out of it. either way their gone. i have to deal with so much now but the worst part is that i have to deal with this alone now. i have to figure out everything alone because now I have nobody that I'm close to. i used to always have an escape. i could step away from everything and everyone and just be happy and now i cant and its killing me.

i used to lay in his arms and listen to his voice and just smile. we didn't have to talk we could just feel the love between us. but an outside factor that didn't matter, that didn't understand, that had nothing to do with the LIFE we had has killed that. has put so much strain on it that now i don't know if I'm ever going to feel that again. and it was the person that was most close to ME that hurt me this bad.

from the beginning we had been fighting the world. doing things we know we shouldn't but we couldn't help ourselves. loving each other even though everyone wanted us to end it and move on. but its like every time we did try to let go we couldn't help but to run back to each other.

I'm not about to pretend, in any way, that i don't love this guy to satisfy someone else. I'm not about to stop talking to him because people think its not healthy for me or whatever. actually i kinda do the opposite of what people want me to do and that's because nobody has to experience this but me. nobody knows whats best for me but me. nobody has to live with the aftershock but me. these are my eyes that are crying. my heart that is pounding out of my chest. my feelings that either get hurt or healed. and I'm willing, every-single-time, to take a chance with him.

personally, if your life is not perfect then you should not judge me and try to change any situation of mines. and GOD help me with this one, its not my SITUATION its my LIFE.